just another sad day

Don't think that I am here trying to pursue any agenda of preaching or justifying anything about myself and my beliefs....I am just trying to feel better myself by penning what i think...
today i was really sad ...nothing new though but still... today is one of my good friend's wedding and tommorrow is my parent's 25'th wedding anniversary...I am not going though to either...i am here stuck in my stupid job and beyond description senseless fever...(i get fever even if temperature shows a sudden deviation of just 2 degrees!!)
People say bhagwan jab deta hain chappar phaad kar deta hain....i say pretty true and also true is that almighty never discriminates even in between joys and miseries....when he gives either ..there are no limits.....
maybe this sounds bit exaggerated...but true isn't it....when u really want something...i don't think u r in a mood for negotiation....when there are emotions involved then there are never any justifications and logics....
was whole day just lying down...thinking and thinking and thinking...and finally thought what the hell...it is good however it is....gave up on myself...somehow felt very relieved...was happy for no reason...felt like that there can't be anything worse than this...this is the abyss...cmon u so called god...do what more worse you can do to me....u r powerless aren't you....i am not going to be sad this way anymore...do what more you can.....